Saturday, 16 August 2008

day 29: not a good saturday

My computer is fine again.. but I am in totally agony with period pains.  I was so close to having some of the only cooked food I could find last night.. some pasta and a jar of tomato sauce.  I wanted warmth and comfort without any chopping etc.  I did not succumb because I was in too much pain to stand stirring the pan and wait for pasta to cook.  I told myself cooked was not the answer... I was tired from going to the restaurant and getting an external hard drive for my pc.  I had managed to get 6 young coconuts from Tesco and I cancelled my cooked food thinking and started to dream about young coconut water.   I managed to get the energy to cut into a coconut and then had a mango.  I took my painful uterus to the computer and installed the hard drive and then thought I could just copy my current hard drive.  No not that simple since some files were being used and could not be copied.  This meant that I had to stay at the computer and manually copy each folder and then each file until I had them all done.  It took about 3 hours.  But I seem to have a stable computer and dont have to reformat my drive yet.  If I do then I have a full backup, warts and all, and so I feel safe that I wont have lost any important file.

So food.   I really think that my period is worse on raw food, but then I am believing that if I stay very raw for 3 months this will change.  That is my belief and that is what I am going to manifest.

Meanwhile I have lots of fruit and vegetables and a weekend to make raw food.. and all I want to do is lie down and die.  So I am going to log off and lie down and watch some raw videos.  I have lots from years ago. Or maybe I should watch a movie and just enjoy myself.  I think I am getting too overwhelmed with raw food.  I think that the truth seems to be that everyone has their own way of making raw food happen.  And this is good.  We must find a way that is in harmony with out bodies, at first trying lots of things since we wont know what is best for ourselves.

Right now I just crave avocados which I have not had a lot of.  So I will have some.

I do need to make more granola, but dont have raw oats so will have to make do with cooked organic oats.  I will put lots of goji berries in it to compensate.  I also need to make some kind of bread and some kind of sweet treat.

I also had some good news on the sedona front.  I have booked my table at SAF and was trying to find somewhere nice and cheap to stay in london but could not really find anywhere.  I was waiting for something to appear on a last minute website and then my friend said that they were driving to heathrow that day and they could take me and I could stay with them.  I mentioned SAF and in return I just have to buy them a raw meal.   So now I have someone to eat with.  How wonderful is that.  So I changed the SAF reservation to two.

I am so looking forward to it.

I got really ill again in the evening and I tried to have a carob smoothie but this really made me feel sickly. I ended up making some healthy spaghetti and going to bed.  

This is not a great Saturday.  I am bleeding like mad... and I dont usually bleed very much at all.  I hope tomorrow is better.

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