week to sedona... fantastic

I had emails to confirm that I had reserved a pink jeep ride, a hot air balloon flight and a past life regression. This is going to be an amazing trip, where I get to do many of things on my WISH list and vision board.

My log cabin and flight were still waiting for me. the only problem seemed to be parking at the festival. I was getting very confusing instructions. Do I drive to the festival and then they tell me where to park, or do I drive to the dots on their map looking for an open parking space. They dont really clarify. I am talking to Pete who is very nice but not sure. Hopefully he will clear up everything before he gets annoyed with me. Hoping he understands that I am already nervous of driving a strange automatic car, on the wrong side of the road, in a strange country, looking at strange roads and signs etc. I dont want to be driving around wondering where I am going... I'll already be doing that :-))

Anway today did not start well as I woke up feeling very tired and fell asleep again... I was having a lovely dream. Therefore I was late and very late once I had made the kale salad. I decided to just have a pitta bread with almond butter for breakfast as this was fast and easy. The skies were even greyer today and there was torrential rain as I drove very slowly behind a huge convoy of lorries most of the way to to work. At least it had stopped raining where I worked so I did not get to wet walking from the car-park.

I started to get stomach pains mid-morning whic I coped with but was glad when they disappeared for a short while after I had had my kale salad.

I had a smoothie followed by salad and soya burger for dinner.

Grey Skies

The weather here in the UK is not very good, it is wet and grey, and last night it was very wet and very windy. Maybe hurricane Gustov got lost a little.



I am feeling good that I am half raw and half cooked and that I get to choose with a little discipline. My cooked options are very limited so I am not going mad. I am sticking to pitta and soya burger. Once I get over these then I may have soups. One idea is to try making some raw soups.. which up to now have not appealed... and warming them up even to a little cooked... and then each time I make them... warming them up less until they are raw. I do like cooked soups so I need to find some recipes that are very similar in taste.



I have finally finished re-reading Karen Knowler's blog again. I am very much for the idea that it is not just food. I really need to get fun and magic into my life. I therefore played a little game with myself to connect to my feelings on raw.



I thought that it might be useful to some people so I will publish it here.



What am I saying?


My mind
I want to eat raw food to be younger and live forever as I never want to die.
I find that it takes up a lot of time and costs more and so I find it a challenge when I get home tired, I wake up tired. I want more time to do other things than be in the kitchen all the time


My heart
I want to be adored and pampered and want to enjoy what I eat
I want to create beautiful things… I want to be good at something… I would love to be good at creating raw foods, but I don’t really find it enjoyable. It is not my passion.. I need to find my passion. I really enjoy the taste and texture and warmth of the cooked foods


My soul
I want to belong to this wonderful raw food community and thus I need to eat raw. I want to vibrate at a higher level and start to manifest wonderful things, whatever they may be
I need to be connected and I believe that raw food is the answer to feeling connected to nature and the Universe and my higher self. I need the vitality that everyone talks about. I want to experience this. I also want to be passionate about this.



My body

I am felling some good things because of the live food that you are giving me, however, when I try and heal I realise it causes great pain and fatigue and I need you to stop and rest for a few months whilst I do the healing. I know this will be difficult because you feel you need to work to pay bills. I think that I am more energetic when you are not all raw or all cooked. I like a bit of both. I do want to have times when you can rest and you can be all raw to help me heal.


Me
I want to do something interesting and exciting. I want to write a book so that people don’t forget me. I want to bounce out of bed with joy and passion. I want to look forward to exciting new opportunites. I want to help people to get more joyful in a very healthy way. I want energy and I want to show others how to get this energy. I want to live in a world that is full of these healthy energetic people who have good thoughts and behaviours. That do more than go to the pub and drink or stay home with a bottle of wine and a DVD. I dont want to be in pain. I want to eat in an easy and comfortable way, but in a healthy way.. a very healthy way. I do want more time to do the things I love. I want to explore and learn and find more things that I love. I want to be with like-minded people. I want to do something that helps people and get their appreciation.



Phew.. quite a bit came out. I really need to reflect on these honest thoughts. Maybe they will change, maybe they will get deeper. My thoughts are that after my wonderful trip to Sedona... then what happens. What magical things do I have in my life? Do I want magic? Do I just want peace? What do I want? I believe that I need to go inwards again to answer some of these questions. I thought raw would make it all clearer, but it makes it more difficult because my mind is getting scattered. Maybe I should be 100% raw for 3 months and just put up with pain... then I may be so wonderful clear. Then again... the pain is too scary... and what happens if I do have to give up everything... am I ready... I just dont know. I wish I had a clairvoyant right now.

I found that the supermarket had very little organic produce and no young coconuts so my food options were a limited. I was a bit too depressed to make kale salad so will have to do this in the morning

Today I ate

Pitta with almond butter and herbal tea

herbal tea and a few raisins

apple followed by marinated veggies bit later had some water with digestion drops

herbal tea in afternoon

smoothie: banana, water, 1/2 pineapple with teaspoon of coconut butter (no coconuts available)

Day 35: A different way of transitioning

Sorry for not posting recently. I was feeling guilty about eating some cooked food every day. I was also trying to avoid the idea that I might be allergic to the young coconuts or perhaps kale. I spent the weekend moving stuff from downstairs to upstairs as I get ready to have my floor rebuilt. I dont want anything to be covered in cement dust.



I listened to Victoria Boutenko ( an archived show) and she was saying that now she would only recommend going slowly into raw food by having a green smoothie each day. Perhaps she is right. Only I think I am a little bored with green smoothies. This weekend I have been having non-green smoothies and vegetables soup. It was different and therefore I was happy. It also was easy.


I think I am now going to be intuitive sem-raw. I am going to make a choice for each meal, and see what my body is askign for. I have made some marinated veggy salad for lunch but I could not face my granola without any fruit so I had a pitta bread with raw almond butter with my herbal tea. I will be raw for the rest of the day.


I need to do some experimentation to see what is causing the stomach pains. Is it general detox or is it a reaction to something.. or is a bad combination.

I did some meditating about what was happening in my stomach. I did not get any clues, however, I was made aware that the thought of 100% raw was not making me feel good. Neither was the thought of 100% cooked. I really felt that I wanted to be in the middle, I wanted to choose at any time what I could eat. I am totally aware that a raw salad is better than healthy vegetable soup... but if I have salad everyday... I really want that soup. I think that I could fight the cravings if I was feeling good, but since I was not... it was just too hard. I was pleased that I did not want to just be cooked.

So my goal now is to work out how much cooked or how much raw I can currently work with and then try and add more raw from there. I can see that the weather is now starting to change to autumn, the mornings and evenings are getting darker and already I am moving away from fruit to thinking about making raw pies. I will be very happy if I choose a salad with something cooked rather than force myself to just have a raw salad and then end up cheating with something cooked. I think by allowing myself some cooked.. I feel that I am more relaxed, and my body does not want to rebel. It also allows me the opportunity to be social. I am hoping that the compromise will mean that I will start to be excited that I can choose these great raw options than being forced to think how can I make raw easy and exciting.. what do you do when you dont want fruit or salad but are worried about nuts or seeds... and cant do grains because you keep forgetting to soak and sprout everything.

So currently I am about 50-60% raw in terms of amount ( I am not workingout calories etc).
I felt great this weekend, I had energy and I slept less hours and woke more awake. So why could I not be like this on raw food? Perhaps I was detoxing. I am really in need of my energy so I am pleased that I have this enrgetic and pain free body right now. I am going for raw breakfast and lunch and then half raw evening meal. That is my plan for next few days to see what happens. This morning was an exception as I need to get some fruit. I am also going to try a coconut tonight and see if this causes pain. It may be that it does on a very high raw diet but not on cooked... or it may be that the coconut is not the problem. I will see and tell you all about it

Anyway now that I am not in pain I am feeling so good. I have booked my sedona pink jeep tour and am trying to reserve a balloon flight. I emailed to find out if I could reserve on the tuesday and the reply came back... a general advert... which ended why not contact us for a reservation.... eh... I thought I just had!

I am getting really nervous and excited about going on holiday on my own... let alone all the way to sedona. I am worried about what clothes to wear. I have not lost any weight so my usual clothes wont fit. I could go 80/10/10 for this week and see if I lose some.. or maybe a juice fast.. But I think I would get into detoxing and I am enjoying my energy and happiness right now.. so not an option.


I am also going to see if my spare pair of glasses can be converted into sunglasses for me. This will save me buying a new pair.


Today I ate
herbal tea, wholewheat pitta bread with raw almond butter
marinated veggies with lettuce
raw pina colada smoothie
soya burger with salad.